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Right Intention: US Is Not Superman

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

US Is Not Superman

This is excellent. No commentary necessary.

We're Sorry

"The United States is not the 'Superman' of the world."

OUR CANADIAN FRIEND CHRIS ALEMANY comments in a post below:

"Freedom is a Human Right"
That's exactly right... but no Human being should be subjected to all out war by foreign country in order to gain that right.

*Some* Americans need to learn that the United States is not and need not be the "Superman" of the world.

Chris has a point -- the United States needs to stop "playing Superman." Furthermore, we should apologize to each of those nations that we have “liberated” by force of arms.

To the good people of Cuba, we humbly apologize. We helped you fight for your “independence” from Spain in 1898, but considering how badly things have gone since then, we should have left well enough alone. The same goes for the Philippines, which remained a U.S. possession for 40 years after “liberation.”

At various times in the past century, we’ve attempted to “intervene” in several Latin American and Caribbean countries, including Nicaragua, Honduras, Guatemala, El Salvador, the Dominican Republic, Grenada, and Haiti. In retrospect, this was a bad idea. Please accept our apologies.

Twice in the past hundred years, the United States sent troops to Western Europe to fight for “freedom.” To the people of France, Luxembourg, Belgium, the Netherlands, Norway, Denmark, and Austria, we offer our most heartfelt apologies for interfering in your affairs. Please rest assured that it won’t happen again.

To the peoples of Polynesia, Micronesia, Indonesia, Indochina, the Philippines (again), China, and Korea, for whom America spent so much blood and treasure to free from the “oppression” of the Japanese Empire, we’re sorry. We’re sure that you could have handled the matter much better without our “assistance.”

After subjecting their citizens to all-out war, the United States forced Germany, Japan, and Italy to “democratize.” We apologize for being so presumptuous. In retrospect, we should have trusted you to come up with your own form of government -- we’re certain you would have been much better off in the long run, left to your own devices.

We apologize to the people of South Korea for “defending” you from your brothers to the north. This was clearly an internal matter for Koreans to decide, and we had no business meddling in your affairs.

Similarly, we apologize for “interfering” with the socialist revolution in Vietnam. It is indeed fortunate that we ultimately failed in establishing a viable democratic state in the South – as any one of the 1.5 million Vietnamese now living in America will eagerly attest.

We apologize to the people of Eastern Europe for working for 45 years to undermine the Warsaw Pact. In retrospect, you were probably better off under Soviet domination. Please forgive us.

To the good people of Kuwait, whom we forcibly separated from Saddam Hussein’s Iraq: please accept our apologies – it was all a horrible misunderstanding.

To all the Bosnians, Croatians, Albanians, and Kosovars that we “rescued” from so-called Serbian “ethnic cleansing,” we are truly sorry.

We apologize to all the people in Afghanistan for putting an end to the Taliban regime. We now understand that you preferred to use your soccer stadiums for public executions, rather than, well, soccer.

Finally, we apologize to the people of Iraq for deposing and imprisoning Saddam Hussein. Clearly, you were better off with a good “disciplinarian” running your country – we’ll just set him free, pack up our stuff, and go home.

That is what you want, right?

P.S. If you need any help in the future, please call Canada.


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